Buying A New Bed

I hate the process of buying a new bed. It is almost as bad as buying a new car...well no...worse.



How do you know if you are going to like something for the next 10 or more years? I purchased our current bed about 8 years ago (before Steve). Steve says he thinks it is still pretty comfy. I wake up every morning in horrible back pain. It got so bad right before I left for Florida I ended up at the chiropractor twice a day for a week. She suggested a new bed may be in order. Her recommendation was the Number Bed. The decision was made while I was away and woke up totally pain free after sleeping in the wonderful bed at the timeshare.



So off to the bed store Steve and I went on Saturday. We spent about 3 hours laying on different mattresses. I felt like Goldilocks in the 3 bears. The cool thing is that "Sleep America" has this new computer where they put all your particulars in and then you lay on a mattress and it tells you what the perfect firmness would be. Even with this new technology you still have to lay on different mattresses.



We finally agreed on one. It was delivered on Monday and it doesn't feel anything like it did in the store. The good news is I'm not in as much pain each morning as I was. I am going to give it another week or so and we will see.

Talking to a Therapist

I finally decided it was time to talk to someone professionally. I have now had 2 appointments with a therapist. He is a relationship/marriage therapist. When I first made the appointment, Steve agreed to go with me. Well, that has not happened as yet. Then yesterday when I arrived for my appointment I found out that he is NOT covered by my insurance. Man, do I hate insurance companies. I found him through the provider list...so WTF!!

We are getting to the bottom of my fears of abondament. I won't go into all the details but I had a lot of changes in my life when I was little and it is coming out. I want to trust...I really, really do and I am learning ways to do that. Most of the people in my life have eventually left me and I don't want my past to predict my future. I love Steve with all my heart and these insecurities are doing nothing positive for our relationship.

I will continue with the therapy, with or without Steve (and/or insurance coverage).

It Has Been A While

And I still don't know what to write. I guess I have been stuck in this vortex and can't seem to move forward. Don't get me wrong, I have done lots of things, like spending a week in Florida with my girlfriend from Ohio and her 90 year old mother. That was relaxing and fun. Here are a couple pictures:

I have been home for 3 days now and cannot seem to get it together to get things done. I attempted to do laundry yesterday, only to have to call a repairman for my washer. I could have spit nails. My washer is less than a year old. Then the repairman sent me realing...he kept saying "Oh this is bad". "If it is what I think it is it will be cheaper to buy a new washer". This is a new washer!! Turns out it was a loose screw. A LOOSE SCREW!! I could have hit him. So today I get to try and get the laundry caught up.

I will try to do better at staying a bit more current here...not that I am sure than anyone really reads me...but I think it is good for me to write some things out here.

Thanks for coming by!!

Cocky Taco

Cocky Taco. Yep, that's what I said. What is a Cocky Taco you ask?

Cocky Taco is a restaurant a good friend of ours, Teri, has bought into. Once Teri told me about this restaurant I decided to visit and see for myself. Well, let me tell you. I am not usually a huge fan of Mexican food (and usually only go when Honey or a family member wants it).

BUT...this food is really REALLY good. I had Fish Tacos and they were just plain YUMMY. The refried beans were to die for too! I am kind of craving those refried beans right now just thinking about them :). Honey and a friend had a taco with Fried Avacado. I tasted their food and it was really good as well. Who would have thought to fry up some avacado and put it on a taco.

If you live in or around Gilbert, AZ I highly recommend you make your way to this restaurant and try the yummy food. They are just South of I-60 on Stapley (on the West side). If you make it around lunch time make sure to tell Teri hello and you read about her and her wonderful restaurant here in blog land.

Enjoy!!

A Mellow Day

It's Friday afternoon and I am just laying around watching tv. It has been a busy week having dinner with friends and going to the comedy club.

Today I am feeling blue. Honey and I had an arguement this morning and off to work he went. Now, he won't answer his phone...what a baby!! I hate it when we argue. I am sure we will kiss and make up when he gets home. Why do we have to have this spats to make our relationship stronger...ugh!!

Someone help me shake these bad thoughts

Why do we want to do bad things to people who do bad things to us. As Honey says, "It does not accomplish anything". So true...but wouldn't it make me feel better for a few minutes.

I do believe in Karma!! So I hope Karma comes around soon. Everyone say a prayer that I behave myself.

Family

Why do extended families have to be so difficult? I am going to be perfectly honest and say I am ashamed of the way I treated my sister-in-law while we on vacation in Belize. I had had a bit too much to drink on the day before we were to come home and I guess she had pushed my last button. Jan is a very unhappy angry woman and takes about 20 oxy-codine a day and drinks on top of that. That does not excuse the way I acted...it was just wrong...the things I said. My Honey and I were having a disagreement and she stuck her nose in because she thought she heard something I did not say. When I tried to explain it to her she slammed the bedroom door in my face. Needless to say, I went off on her. I apologized to her that night and sent her an apology via e-mail when we got home. I did not hear a word from her until late Saturday night. When I got up on Sunday, Honey sat me down and said that Jan had sent me an e-mail and that it was mean, nasty, and viale. He asked me to not read it and to just delete it. I did. It still hurts that someone would write mean and nasty things to me. And yes, I am curious as to what she said but I promised so I will not read it. I will tell you that I did read the e-mail that my Honey sent her. It brought tears to my eyes. This man, I love with all my heart, totally told her that she has not changed and that her tongue is still as sharp as it always as been. He told her to leave us alone. See...he has not had a relationship with Jan for the past 15-20 years because of her horrible mouth and temper (that and she stole jewelry from his then wife). She was back in his life because I extended the olive branch and invited her to his 60th birthday. Anyway, I feel badly and I am truly sorry for calling her a f***ing Bitch but I don't think it warrants the way she has continued to treat me. Oh well...what is that saying, "You can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family". Oh so true. I am blessed to have the family I do have (and oh believe me, we have had our ups and downs) and even more blessed to have the friends I have.

Thank you Nic for talking me through a lot of this last night. You are the only one who I shared the e-mail with and you will be the only one who gets to see it. Sorry about that sweetie. Please please don't share it with anyone. I still cannot believe I sent it without reading it. Wow, what determination I have...haha. I will forward Honey's response so you can see what he said. He loves me!!

I just needed to get that off my shoulders. I know I am not perfect, but I try :)